Saturday, September 10, 2011

Life, Interrupted

You know what sucks?  Tell me, dearest reader, if you do this, too.  I have this tendency to forget to live my life TODAY, in anticipation of some future event that's going to make everything different and perfect, so that at THAT point I can start living my 'real' life.   Can you relate?

I was just reflecting over all the things in my "pending" box - each of which is going to make my life effervescent, perfect and wonderful, right?  RIIIIIGHT.  Here's what I'm thinking:

Tina's "Pending Box"

1.   Figuring out what's going on with HF - meeting him in person and hashing it all out - because either he's the real deal or he's not, and then my life will be in order for the...

2.  Long-anticipated finalization of my divorce - which should happen before the end of September - at which point I will be FREE, all questions concerning property and debt distribution will be answered and I can start my life over, right?  Because then everything will fall into place for....

3.  November to arrive, which I can't reveal too much detail on because it pertains to our blog and my novel, but anyhow, I'll get that novel wrapped just in time for...

4.  Wintertime, when my schedule will settle down, because we only have cello lessons once a month; all that extra time will give me security and serenity in my life, aligning the stars for....

5.  June 2012, when school gets out and I move to my "new hometown", wherever the hell that ends up being, and I find a job that pays enough to put a roof over my head and the wonderful man who holds the other half of my soul shows up, and I can AT LONG LAST be happy.

Geesh, it's MY list, and even I don't buy that I will have contentment when I arrive at #5.

Anyhow, do you get my drift?  Case in point - I spent all day, a very hot Saturday, sitting around the house thinking about how I can't wait to power through this list and "start my life."  It's now evening, and all I've accomplished today is 12 hours' worth of collagen loss.  Absolutely no living done today, thank you very much.  I made a batch of laundry soap that will probably last me until next year and watched 5 episodes of "Rescue Me" on dvd.  That's it, baby.  Pathetic.  I didn't even work on that stupid potholder.

What a waste of a beautiful soul.

1 comment:

  1. I can't relate because I don't plan things in advance, unless it's absolutely necessary. Doing so is very frightening/stressful. I've got dentist appointments next week. :(

    Live in the moment, baby. It's all you've really got.


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