Thursday, June 30, 2011

Those About to Fry - We Salute You

Today is June 30th.  And you know what that means.  Tomorrow is July 1st.  V-day.

I console myself with the knowledge that this is "Vegan in 30 days," not "Drop dead Vegan on July 1st, then suffering withdrawals for 30 days while fantasizing about chewing on a cow's leg."  Sarah Taylor's book is 30 baby steps, and I'll follow one a day.  And honestly, I don't eat a lot of meat, per se - but the cheese and eggs...that will make me sad. 

I did go to Sarah's blog -"The Vegan Next Door' - check down a couple posts from here, there's a link.  Anyhow, I told her about our little project and invited her to follow us.  She says she is ready, willing and able to provide support.  So, my dearest reader - we have a plan.  We have Sarah, best-selling author.  Kinda like knowing Iron Man has your back, only she's blonde, petite and can't fly.

I've noticed a strange phenomena this week - I've been eating meat like an Okanogan County ranch hand.  I've had steak.  I've had burgers.  I've had strips of beef satay.  I've also been hitting the eggs pretty hard.  Twice this week, I had 3 poached eggs for lunch.  And don't even get me started on the cheese.  I've eaten more cottage cheese this week than I have in the past 5 years.  Tonight I ate a huge sandwich with pastrami, ham, swiss, and g*d knows what else.  This from a girl who eats meat normally, oh, twice a week or so.  Oh, and let's not discuss the 2 containers of rice pudding I bought today.  If I think about July too much, I'll go into some sort of cardiac incident, I have no doubt. 

Oh, and you won't freakin' believe what we are doing after this little.  I found this program for single women...OH.MY.DOG.  You will just croak.  You really, really will.  See, I'm already trying to divert my attention from this month by mentally skipping directly to August. 

Hold me, I'm scared.  And bring bacon.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Ordinary People - 1980

Wow - it's an actual movie review!  Wake the kids and phone the neighbors!  Are you excited?

First things first.  I canceled my Netflix subscription last night, because Blockbuster's prices are now so low, it's cheaper to rent in town.  Yes, this does limit my selection - but I caught myself frequently sending back movies to Netflix unwatched anyway - so the extended selection does you no good if you don't watch them, right?

If you have a Blockbuster card, you should know that you can get a movie a day for FREE until July 4th.  Yes, that means today's movie was FREE!  Add this incentive to the fact that the local Blockbuster has the cutest little guys that work there, with whom I flirt outrageously every time I'm in, and Netflix just had to go.

So today we are watching "Ordinary People," winner of the Best Picture Oscar for 1980 and the breakout film for that cute little Timothy Hutton.  From the back of the box:

"An extraordinary motion picture, Ordinary People is an intense examination of a family being torn apart by tension and tragedy.  Donald Sutherland and Mary Tyler Moore star as the upper-middle class couple whose "ordinary" existence is irrevocably shattered by the death of their oldest son in a boating accident.  Timothy Hutton is the younger son, struggling against suicide and guilt left by the drowning.  Judd Hirsch is the empathetic psychiatrist who provides his life line to survival.  Mary Tyler Moore gives a riveting portrayal of the inexplicably aloof mother.  Robert Redford's achievement as director, after more than twenty years as a superstar in front of the camera, earned him an Oscar.  Superb performances and masterful direction complement the award-winning screenplay, based upon the novel by Judith Guest."

An 8-word summary of this film:  Mary Tyler Moore is the WORST MOTHER EVER.

So, high schooler Timothy Hutton (Conrad) attempts suicide after his brother's death, and spends 4 months in a mental hospital.  The film picks up a few weeks after his release.  Conrad confides in his friend that he wants to go back to the hospital, and after about 10 minutes of Mary Tyler Moore, I can see why.  Watching this family is like watching a slow-motion train wreck, or maybe the Challenger explosion, or maybe the Hindenburg disaster.  Wowza.  Just when you think it can't get any worse, well, either MTM or Donald Sutherland opens their mouth and boom- it does.   Those Baby Boomers, I tell ya.  Me me me all the time.  No wonder us Gen X'ers are so screwed up.

If you decide to watch this one, you might want to rent a comedy as a chaser to cheer yourself back up after you finish it.  If you are a parent, you are probably going to want to make your family a really nice meal and kiss them all to cleanse Mary Tyler Moore from your brain.

All that said, I'm going to go with a "see it"...but not an OMGSEEITRIGHTNOW" because it did was over 2 hours, which in 1980 would have been equivalent to a 4-hour movie.  Anyhow, there's only so much angst a person can take, and I maxxed out at 90 minutes or so.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Is That Your Cricket Chirping, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

So, you are going to love this.

I was going back over my blog notes and completely FORGOT that I was intending on going vegan for the month of May.

Come on people, cut me some slack.  You KNOW how things have been for me.

So, with my most profound and sincere apologies to the animals that I've consumed since May 1st, we are going Vegan in July.  WHO'S WITH ME!

(insert uncomfortable silence here)

We will be using the resource "Vegan in 30 days" by Sarah Taylor.  You can also find her blog here.

I say again - WHO'S WITH ME!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Here's my week - how's yours?

What's going on in Tina Land, you ask?  Why, I'll tell you.

-They are here again.  There are 2 additional people in my house, making cupcakes and heating up my kitchen.  I'm in my bedroom.  It's  a little cooler and quieter in here.  I'm turning into Howard Hughes.

-Under the heading "Whoda Thunkit", Wells Fargo has turned me down as a cosigner for my daughter's student loans for the fall.  Seems they have an issue with approving a woman in the middle of a divorce who has a car payment and just moved into a rental a few months ago.  Funny how a credit score which could have gotten me a mortgage a few years ago, today isn't even good enough to be a cosigner.  Her father has been unemployed for a year now - I'm not seeing any potential there.  So, my kid is faced with the distinct possibility that she will have to drop out of school.  Then, of course, there's the Mommy Guilt; the knowledge that if I had stuck it out with the Prophet for a few more years, this wouldn't be an issue (although it's entirely possible that I would have started consuming a substantial amount of prescription drugs and alcohol on a daily basis, and that would be its own issue).  Nice, huh.

-Did I mention that it's hot in here?

-I've re-read "Zen and the Art of Happiness" twice since my BFF bought me a copy of my very own.  Love it love it.  It does get a little "master of your own universe" toward the end, but it still has some great little gems.

-I went to the Green Lantern the other night.  I'm sad to say it has absolutely no Oscar potential, nor does it have Robert Downey; therefore, it will not be reviewed.  I will give you one observation - the head of the Green Lantern Corps looks like a cross between Clark Gable and Mr. Spock.

-My blog buddy Kludge had a giveaway on his site and I didn't win.

-I never win anything.

-Nothing new to report on LB.  I like him, and I'm pretty sure he likes me.

-I smell burnt sugar.  I'm pretty sure my daughter probably just effed something up in the kitchen.

And it's only Monday.

Monday, June 13, 2011

I Need a Pill

I had it all - for about 45 seconds.

I was fed.  Comfortable.  Not too warm, not too cold.  Dishes were done.  House was clean.  Sweet, sweet quiet.  Tav walked out the front door with his buddy to go to the circus, not to return for at least 3 hours.  I was completely, utterly, profoundly alone.

"You're looking pretty sweet tonight," I purred to my laptop.  My index finger teased a trail along its black curves.  It was going to happen-we both knew it.

I was going to write the hell out of my book tonight.

The slam of a car door-the slam of a gate-the slam of the kitchen door.  Boom.  Two adult children show up with an Xbox.  A flash, an instant.  That's all I had.   If I would have leaped to my feet and craned my neck, I probably could have still caught a glimpse of the car carrying my son away as it chugged down 4th Avenue as two child-women stomped in the back door.

I'm getting the munchies.  Uncomfortable.  It's rather stuffy in here, and there is a fresh pile of dishes in the sink.  There are 2 extra pairs of shoes, purses, Xbox paraphernalia cluttering my floor.  The RATTATTATATATATATT of Xbox zombie-killing machine gun fire permeates every molecule of oxygen in the room and is shredding my nervous system.  I can even feel it in my teeth.

Robert Downey, please come and take me away from all this madness.  I'm due.  I am so due.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Zen and the Art of Happiness

So, I told my BFF that I had checked this book out from the library, and she promptly went out and bought me my very own copy, along with another book by the same author.

I wonder if I tell her that I love that green Camaro at the Chevy dealership, she'll promptly go out and buy me that, too.  Worth a try, right? 

Anyhow, I've already told you a little about this book in my last post - it's small, it's short, it's yellow.  Author Chris Prentiss's overall theme - "Everything that happens to me only happens so that I can be benefitted to the maximum amount possible." Short version - "This is for my benefit."

For the same theory, in a much larger book and with a few additional caveats, read Romans 8:28.

Let go of your past.  Admit that you can't change it and move on.  Don't worry about your future.  Live in the present.  If you want to be happy, then choose to be happy.  Don't wait for happiness to fall upon you, like some sort of friggin' gift.

That's pretty much the whole book. 

Snarkiness aside, I did actually enjoy this book.  I know we've all heard that "path of enlightenment" crapola a thousand times, but Prentiss cleverly avoids jargon abuse.  He refers repeatedly to "The Universe," which is his concept of a god.  Basically, if you follow any sort of faith, you mentally insert your god's name whenever you see the words "The Universe" and move on.  You won't be continually tripping over any other faith's terminology.   I'm glad I have my own personal copy speeding its way through the US postal system, because I'd like to spend some more time going through it.

The Universe and I have to go pick up my son now.  I swear I will write more later.  Until then - when you have time, go to the library and check out "Zen and the Art of Happiness."

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A Film, A Book, A Venomless Snake

So I have a confession to make.  I sent back my Netflix movie, rather than reviewing it, because it was "Patton" and I just wasn't in the mood.  AND, the movie that is coming is "Get Him to the Greek," which if you've seen it, you know it is in no way, shape or form an Oscar contender, and therefore not "blog material". 

My, my, my - how times have changed.  I sat through some serious barf bags for last year's blog-watched every minute of them-but I can't even bring myself to watch a Best Oscar Winner because I'm just not in the mood.  Amazing how not wanting to drown yourself in a bog 23 hours a day can change your perspective on life and your willingness to spend time watching movies that don't ring your bell.  But I am NOT, in no uncertain terms, off the hook.  I know I will have to watch Patton eventually...but when I want to.  Whenever that might be.  Just not today.

Speaking of which (life perspective, not bell ringing), I am starting a self-improvement book tonight (which, if you recall, still qualifies as a blog-related activity).  It was recommended by my bff.  Between us, we have 94 years on planet Earth, 6 kids, 3 failed marriages, and a plethora of questionable life decisions.  Peas and carrots.  Anyhow, it's called "Zen and the Art of Happiness" by Chris Prentiss.  There's a picture of a laughing Buddha on the front, and it's yellow.  I know what you are thinking, dearest reader - A CULT BOOK!  Well, fear not; I will stand in the gap for you and educate you as to the book's merits and downfalls.

So, it's like 150 pages or so, very small with lots of white space.  I'm surprised I haven't finished it yet, and I've only read the cover.

Before I sign off and read this entire teeny little book before bed, I would like to take a moment to extend my thanks to you, dearest readership, for your recent unwavering support.  Your facebook posts, phone texts, and postings to this blog have brought sunshine into my life this week.  We all know that the world is filled with Radio Jerks.  We can't stop them from biting us, but we absolutely can stop their venom from spreading through our bodies and poisoning us. 

Sleep well tonight, my friends.  I, myself, will be thoroughly zenned.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Cosmopolitan vs. Zen Habits

My daughter had sent me this picture from Denver several months ago.  Every time I look at it, it makes me laugh.  In light of all the crap that you, my loyal and dear reader, have had to put up with at the hands of Radiojerk this week, I thought I'd share it with you.

On a more interesting note, my dear son figured out why my dvd player hasn't been working, and voila, it now works again.  So I can now watch the backlog of Netflix movies sitting next to my tv, and regale you with my profound, witty and yet still easily understood film reviews.  No need to thank me, it's what I live for.

I've been writing...some.  I have the twin distractions of a houseful of kids, now that my son is home on leave, and trying to figure out what to do with LB.  While LB is a great guy and I'm enjoying his company, for reasons that I'm not going to bore you with it's pretty clear that this thing isn't really going to develop into much more than it is right now.  So, I'm mired in that dating quandary - do I go all Cosmo Girl, declare that he's just not that into me, and move on - or do I go all Leo Babauta, just enjoy the moment for what it is, and when it's done, it's done?  Seriously, it's not like I'm going to marry him anyway, right?   I've made sure that my life with my son and my life with LB are completely separate-so there's no entanglement there.

***IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER****  It just occurred to me that my boyfriend's "nickname" has the same initials as Leo Babauta.  So, to clarify, I AM NOT DATING LEO BABAUTA (although, hello, the man is gorgeous-his photo is on his site).  But please visit his website, I go there constantly, and seriously, he has changed my life.

Okay, all that being said - I would love to hear from you on this.  If you were me, what would you do?

One other thing - I'm trying out this bigger font.  What do you think?

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Leave It

So, my son is home on leave from the Army for a week.  He brought with him 2 tattoos on his arms and Seasons 1-6 of Little House on the Prairie.  That's my boy.