Friday, February 11, 2011

Not Ready for Prime Time

Ah, humanity.  Since the day we were shooed out of the garden, we've been trying to wrap our little minds around the great mysteries of life.  We ponder crop circles.  The giant heads on Easter Island.  The duck-billed platypus.

Add to that list -

Why, for the LUVVA PETE, does TINA CONTINUE to order PRIME RIB at her favorite restaurant, even though EVERY SINGLE TIME it SUCKS...and there are SO MANY OTHER WONDERFUL THINGS to pick from???!!!!!!

So, there's this restaurant in town called Joe's.  (No, it's not really called "Joe's", but this is a small town, and mentioning names would be cruel, wouldn't it.)  I like Joe's.  I go there at least once a month.  The specials are usually wonderful - delectable pasta, brimming with creamy sauce and mushrooms; steaks that are always perfectly cooked, to the point where you might shed a trailing tear down your cheek; desserts that make you glad you are an American who can wolf down a slice of cheesecake that weighs as much as a kitten, and not some repressed foreigner who's afraid to get fat.

And then there's the prime rib. 

I think prime rib makes an appearance at Joe's least once a week or so.  I love prime rib, generally speaking, but avoid it at Joe's, because it is invariably disappointing.  Bland, boring, overcooked.  I tootle on along for months at a time, scarfing down pasta, steak, burgers...and then I go and get all nostalgic about prime rib.  A nice, big, excessive, fatty slab of beef - it's the Reaganomics version of a steak.  It's the 80's on a plate.  This is probably why I like it so much.  Anyhow, I tell myself - "Self, it's probably not as bad as you remember it.  Maybe, for the past 10 years or so, you've just been hitting it at unfortunate times.  Let's give it another shot."  So I do - and tonight I did.

Heavy sigh.  Need I say more?  Since my readership is amongst the most clever and creative ever assembled in one place, I'm guessing you can imagine what happened. 

For the LUVVA PETE.  Never, ever, EVER again.  Ever.  This time I mean it.

Oh, and if you live around here - Eat at Joe's.

1 comment:

  1. I have never had a good piece of prime rib. You've gotta stick with the filet mignon. I like to chase mine with crème brulée. You really can't go wrong with that combination.


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