Virtue 12 - Day 1; and a shower curtain.

Our second-to-last virtue:

Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.

Uh...I haven't "used venery" in well over a year.  If venery leads to dullness, I'm the sharpest girl you know. 

Moving on.

So, my mother called today and offered to buy my old sewing machine, which means I actually have some money to buy a little sofa of some sort, and maybe even a lamp, for my new living room.  I went to the local furniture store and found a rather cool-looking sort of futon thing for roughly half of what I had expected to spend.  I then found a super-cool lamp that is marked down by 66% because the shade (which is so custom, it's irreplaceable) is dirty.  Well, it may be irreplaceable, but for about 15 bucks, I can buy some awesome fabric and trim, recover it, and have a custom lamp for my sweet new bachelorette pad.  So, if I still want them on Monday, I'll pop back in and get them.

I made a little trip to Wally World today (yes, I know I was just there yesterday, you Nazi) and picked up some "Gee-I-Really-Need-These-Things-The-Day-I-Move-In" stuff.  I got a shower curtain, some plates, bathroom rugs, other little stuff like that.  None of it is particularly impressive and certainly not worth much money.  What can I say, it was a fun girlie thing to do.

I've got my goods, I'm driving home, and I remember what my friend Crissy said to me today...she told me, basically, "when you move we should have a candle party at your place as a housewarming."  And I started bawling.  Yes, it's dark, I'm driving and crying with my new shower curtain.   

You see, dearest reader, I've never really had what I am about to have.   When I was a kid, I always wanted to have the kind of house where people just "dropped by" when they were out and about - maybe bring some little snackies or maybe a movie, or just come around and we can hang out until the cows come home.  Then I grew up.  "Growing Up" meant living with an alcoholic.  When you are married to an alcoholic, you live in terror that someone actually will "drop by" unannounced and find out your family's dirty little secret.  So, from 1988 until 1999, I made damn sure that nobody, and I mean nobody, just dropped by.

Then I was a single parent with 4 children under the age of 10.  I was constantly scrounging, or so it felt, in pretty much every area of my life.  I was always on the verge of being completely broke.  I was scrapping around trying to establish some sort of career.  I was, well, a single woman in my early 30's.  I was in a chronic state of  humiliation by the end of my first marriage, and later, by the man I was dating and eventually married.  I felt that nothing I had was good enough for anyone, since it obviously wasn't good enough for the men in my life, so I needed to make sure that nobody saw any more than they needed to.  So much for dropping by.

Then I was married to husband no. 2 (and according to the laws of the State of Washington, I still am for a little while longer).  In case there's any doubt in your mind - my 2nd husband spent 10 years defiling, degrading, humiliating and neglecting me.  During that time, I was relieved that nobody would want to drive out into the middle of nowhere to see us, because our home environment was mortifying; and, of course, all my fault for not being a better Christian wife.

Well, that brings us to today.  I have no alcoholic around.  I've cut out all the emotionally abusive people that used to be in my life.  I'm about to move into a tiny, little house...and I CAN HAVE PEOPLE OVER.

Yes, my living room will feature what is, in reality, a pretty cheap sofa and my old recliner with the duct tape on it.  If you are around at mealtime, you will eat off a white Correlle plate and use a fork that is rather lightweight or worn, and probably doesn't match the fork that anybody else is using.  You'll probably have to hold said plate in your lap, because there's no room for a dining room table.  But you are welcome to come over.  I have nothing to hide, because I bet that if you are in my life now, you won't think my home isn't good enough for visitors.  And just the thought of being able to offer this to you for the first time in my adult life, dearest reader, brought me to tears tonight.

When you come by, make sure you check out the shower curtain.  It's super-cute.