Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Always Kiss Me Goodnight.

It's amazing how 2 short sentences, shot out in a group e-mail, can change the course of your day.  It greeted me this morning at work.  "He had a stroke yesterday.  We do not know his condition."

He's a man I've known for a few years.  Probably one of the healthiest men I know.  He went from being a vibrant working man, winterizing his property, to a collapsed form on a linoleum floor in a matter of a minute.  I've since heard that he came through brain surgery successfully, and he is improving rapidly.  Praise be to God.

But as I sat there reading those lines this morning, I didn't think about his prognosis.  I didn't think of how he had been shipped out to a larger hospital, how he had to have brain surgery; the impact on his business and family.  Instead, I sat there and wondered - did he kiss his wife yesterday morning before he left for work?  Did his lips brush her temple, maybe even with a quickly-spoken "Love you" before he headed out the door?  What if that moment would have been their last...what memory would she be left with?

I wanted to go directly to my car, round up all of my children, hold them close and tell them how much I love them.  They are scattered around the western part of the country; not terribly practical, but still, it's all I wanted to do. 

And of course, my thoughts went to HF.  He's in a dangerous line of work.  And I'm not his girlfriend; I'm not really anything other than a really sexy penpal.  But since I met him, I watch the news with a fervent eye every night, looking for any "local fire turns tragic"-type headline.  If he was hurt, if something happened - nobody would know to tell me.  I try not to focus on it, but it's always in the front of my mind.

So, in honor of my recuperating friend, and because I've had enough effed up relationships in my life to have learned a lot of lessons, I give you...

The Siren Sex Goddess's Guide to Life in 6 Short Points

1.  If you go to sleep and wake up with someone every day, always kiss them good night and good morning.  Kiss them when you leave the house, kiss them when you greet them after not seeing them all day.  No exceptions.  I don't care if all your buddies are standing right there and you are embarrassed.  Just do it.

2.  If you dating and are in love with someone, tell them.  This whole concept of protecting your heart, taking it slow, not getting in over your head is complete bullshit.  What's the worst thing that can happen?  They don't say it back?  You can't control any other person's emotions.  Whether or not they love you is immaterial to how you feel about them anyway.

3.  Be genuine, open, honest and vulnerable, ESPECIALLY if you are a woman.  Your competition consists mostly of women who are convinced that they have to deny their femininity and be tough as nails, 24/7.  If you are a girl, act like one.  Men go absolutely insane for it.

4.  Did your heart get broken?  Congratulations.  That means you are FEELING.  I'm proud of you. 

5.  Everyone has soul mates.  They come in and out of our lives; they can be dear friends, they can be lovers, you might even marry one, if you are lucky.  But there are people out there who complement you and you complement them...and when you get together, your lives will never again be the same.  

6.  Sometimes you just "know." And when you just know, don't let your friends, family, relationship coaches, even your common sense override your gut feeling that you "know."  Treasure it in your heart.  If it's meant to be, there's nothing you can do, short of committing suicide, to prevent it anyway.

So that's what I thought about today.  What about you?  Care to add any points?


  1. William and I ALWAYS kiss eachother. I am so proud that I have raised The Boy to be aware of (but not fearful of) there might not be a "next time" and HE (at 15!!) will still tell me he loves me when he gets out of the car at school.

    The Girls-- they're pros too.

    This is one of the BEST things you have ever written. True stuff and EXACTLY on point.



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