Monday, July 4, 2011

Day 3 - The Fruit and Veg Cleanse

"Today you will start your journey with a 24-hour fruit and vegetable cleanse. Ideally, you will eat only organic raw fruits and veggies in their whole, natural form. If you must, you can make a hot dish, as long as all the ingredients are fresh fruits and veggies. Avoid anything canned, jarred or frozen, as salt or sugary syrups are often added."

Sarah Taylor. Vegan in 30 Days: Get Healthy. Save the World. (Kindle Locations 159-161). Kindle Edition.

Hello, my name is Tina, and I'm a sugar addict.  Hi, Tina.

So, I'm not what you would call a "go-getter" first thing in the morning.  I wake up gradually.  Consciousness sneaks up on me with little cat feet; it doesn't drop on me like Queen Latifah.  I don't eat breakfast.  In fact, eating first thing in the morning makes me vomit.  Really.  I have to be up at least an hour before I eat anything.  However, within 90 minutes of awakening, I MUST have a latte', or my caffeine withdrawals will start, and I'll get a migraine. 

Keeping all this in mind, my morning started with me actually getting out of bed (as all mornings do), taking a shower, going on facebook to harvest my Cityville crops, and then grabbing 3 leftover Bottle Caps from last night's Blockbuster snack pack.  I ate them before I even realized what day it was.  So, within 15 minutes of getting out of bed, I'd already violated the Fruit and Veg Cleanse with Willy Wonka candy.  Oops.

So, around 10:30, I decided I was awake enough to take in some nourishment, so I ate a Fuji apple.  Please tell me you've eaten Fuji's.  If not, go to Safeway immediately and buy one.  They are my very favorite apple.  Anyhow, there you have it, the cleanse has begun.

I skipped my latte' (RED FLAG, PEOPLE!) because I had to go to the Homeland to take my grandma her birthday present.  Once there, well, it's the 4th, and the park was full of vendors...but I held strong.  I did NOT get a pulled pork sandwich, enchilada, torta, or anything else resembling meat.  I did get a raspberry lemonade, and patted myself on the back for having not one, but TWO fruits.


I also bought some caramel corn, which is weird because I don't really even like it...I ate maybe a 1/2 cup.  Okay, so I DO know why I bought it.  I didn't want to have enough cash left over for the pulled pork.

I stopped by mom and dad's, and wouldn't you know it, there's saltwater taffy in the bowl on the coffee table.  I love me some taffy, so I ate 3 pieces.

Okay, I'm back home now, and it's about 2:00.  Let's recap my nourishment for the day:

3 Bottle Caps
1 Apple
16 oz of raspberry lemonade
3 pieces of saltwater taffy
1/2 cup of caramel corn

Do you see a trend?  Do you also see that, at this point, I'M STARVING?

This is not Sarah's fault.  This is MY FAULT.  I should have planned this better, and should have had more fresh fruits/veggies sliced, diced and ready to go.  So, I went to my favorite fall-back food.  Poached eggs.

I consoled myself in the knowledge that the eggs were already purchased, and to throw them away uneaten wouldn't accomplish anything, so I poached 3 of those suckers, made 2 slices of toast with strawberry jam, and inhaled them with a Diet Coke.

At this point, my brain has figured out that 1-my blood sugar is completely effed for the day, and 2-I haven't had NEARLY enough caffeine.  It retaliates by seizing up every vein in my head and giving me a raging headache.  I medicate (Excedrin, baby, it's a wonder drug) and now I think I'll survive.

In actual time, it's now 5:00 on Monday night.  I'm about to go make a pizza for my son and his friend, and then a BAS (this stands for Big-Assed Salad, an acronym we will use frequently over the next several days) for me.  I have plenty of fixings for it, and not 1, but 2 salad dressings that qualify as vegan.  So, 3 chicken ovum aside, I think I'll make it without another slipup...I think.

I would say that the biggest surprise to me about today would be how little I actually consume REAL FOOD.  This is not a weird food consumption day, really - this is a normal day for me.  All that's really missing is my latte'.  I consume WAY too much sugar, ya think?  Anyhow - Sarah, if you are reading this, thanks for helping to point that out to me.  You are rapidly becoming my guru.

Tomorrow we give up red meat.  I'm ready.


  1. After reading the first paragraph of this post I was kicking myself for having dumped marinara sauce atop my grilled eggplant and portabella mushrooms (my replacement for a fourth of July steak). After reading the entire post I feel like a fricken saint. For breakfast I had an orange and some orange juice, for lunch I made some garlic/onion soup, and for dinner the eggplant/mushroom grill thing. Girl, you'd better shape up. I'm following you, and right now I'm thinking I may just have some tea with HONEY in it to even the score.

  2. Hmmmm... My menu July 4:
    Ribs to DIE FOR!!
    Potato Salad
    Corn on the cob
    Baked Beans (with bacon of course!)
    Bacon wrapped deer loin (OMGEE!!!)
    and 2 rolls....

  3. Tina ... I'M WATCHING YOU!!! LOL! You're cracking me up! I'm going to link to your blog on mine. You'll have another opportunity for a Fruit & Veg cleanse on Day 11. Cherry Gumdrops and Lemon Sours are NOT fruits or veggies!


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