Sunday, August 28, 2011

Dinner with Conan the Barbarian

Setting:  A stylishly small, yet oppressively hot, kitchen in Small Town America.  Mom is assembling enchiladas in a manner which can only be described as "serene."  Enter The Boy.

The Boy:  What are you doing?

The Mom:  Making dinner.

The Boy:  (excitedly) Are you making ENCHILADAS?

The Mom:  Yes, baby, I am.

The Boy:  (trepidation growing):  Where did you get that meat?  Is it turkey?

The Mom:  No, it's not turkey.

The Boy:  (trepidation growing yet again):  Is it beef?

The Mom:  No, baby - it's just meat.  It came all cooked up and pre-seasoned.

The Boy:  WAAAAAAAAIIIIITTTT.....(heads for the garbage can, rummages for box) It's SOY!

The Mom:  Yes, but once it's all put together, you won't be able to tell.  (opens can of cheddar cheese soup that she bought by mistake, so has decided what the heck, to use it on the enchiladas)


The Mom:  Cheese sauce.

The Boy:  It looked like Beefaroni.

The Mom:  Well, it's not, it's cheese sauce.

The Boy storms from the kitchen, muttering under his breath:  Stupid vegan fake meat enchilada canned cheese dinner gonna taste like crap....

Now, who said that a single mom can't raise a son.  That is the EXACT reaction I would have expected from any American male. 


  1. Don't you just love 'em!! Just when you think you're making a great meal.....there's always one that makes a negative comment. At least now mine have all left home, but, ahhhhh, I remember it well.

  2. Update: He ate 2. His complaint was the tortilla - I used a different brand than usual and they were too "thick". If he hadn't seen the Soy Crumbles box, he would have never known the difference. Those Mexican-seasoned crumbles taste the same, especially when they are mixed into something and baked like I did. And no e. coli!!

  3. Mine are still too young to read so I can still just lie to them... (not that they would know to ask about soy meat)

    Anyways...There are some foods that work great vegan. Sausage and anything Mexican are both good examples as it's all about the seasonings. Mayonnaise? Not so much...


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