Saturday, July 23, 2011

Day 22 - Be Motivated!

Be forewarned, this is going to be one of those "Tina gets all touchy-feely about her personal life and waxes philosophical" posts; so if you are just here for the vegan stuff, you might want to bail now.

However, since I am a scientist, dedicated to my craft above all else, we will do what Sarah says first.  And we ALWAYS do what Sarah says.

"Hopefully, you're finding that this book is motivating you right now toward your goal of becoming a vegan. However, be prepared for the end of this program by researching a new motivational speaker, online vegan doctor or other source from the list above, so that you will have another place to turn to for motivation when this 30-day program is over. "
Sarah Taylor. Vegan in 30 Days: Get Healthy. Save the World. (Kindle Locations 468-470). Kindle Edition.

Okay, another plug for Sarah's book.  In this section, she gives a huge list of motivational speakers, websites, books and other resources to turn to, should you feel yourself waning.  Awesome possum.  On the list...wait for it...

TONY ROBBINS.

You all know that I love Tony Robbins.  He is destined to be my 3rd husband, he just doesn't know it yet.  He's the only person I know that has a bigger smile than me...can you just imagine our offspring?  Smiles visible from space.

So there you have it.  Thanks, Sarah Queen of the Vegans, for this list.  Looking forward to perusing it.

The Boy and I went north tonight to have dinner with my bff and her new man.  Okay, I have to say it, and she'd be mortified, if she actually read my blog - but they are pretty darn cute together.  They are quite obviously head over heels for each other.  And I want that.  I really, really want that.

As I watched them together, exchanging glances and those little arm touches you just have to do in public when you can't keep your hands off the person sitting next to you, I straddled the pendulum of emotions.  I swung from being extraordinarily happy for my dearest friend, to feeling overwhelming jealousy at what she has, and I don't.  And haven't, probably ever.

But that's okay.  Because I had an interesting week.  An eye-opening week. I got almost no sleep (for me, anything less than 5 hours is "no sleep"). Over the course of the week, I spent hours every night (seriously) thinking about what I have to offer another person, what I want from a relationship, and what I'm willing to do to have it.  I somehow, thank God, finally managed to rip off and bury that albatross that's been strapped to my neck for a very long time, whispering in my ear that I'm not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not Christian enough to ever attract a quality man into my life.  I made some intense, life-altering decisions this week.  No going back.  Bye bye, birdie.   

This is not the time for me to rehash my two marriages, for two reasons - first, because they aren't terribly interesting, compared to what you see on TV; and second, because I don't have the slightest desire to live in the past - or allow it to control me.  What I will say is that I've come through fire (especially in the past 3 years) and stand here now, refined and reshaped into the person I am.  Worthy and worthwhile.

So, Mr. Right - wherever and whoever you are - I think I'm ready for you now.  If you show up before August 1st, please don't eat a corn dog in front of me; I'd hate to assault you and steal your food before we even have a chance to say hi.

7 comments:

  1. What is this August first crap? I thought you were going to stay vegan with me forever.

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  2. Are you trying to tell me that I poured my little enlightened, empowered heart out to the entire world via the internet, and the only thing you got out of it was that I will be corn dog eligible on August 1st?

    Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.

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  3. Like you, I see no reason to clock thought time on a past that involves people who suck. I am impressed that you were able to move ahead, leaving them and their $#%! behind. That says a lot about what a strong person you are. Just what I'd expect of my superstar. Therefore, no need to comment, except on the fact that I'm worried you're going to leave me out here all alone with nothing to comfort me but a spinach smoothie.

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  4. Seriously, the only thing I really miss are hot dogs. Sad, huh. I think I can live without the rest.

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  5. My neighbors are having a barbecue right now. The smell makes me want to gnaw off my own arm.

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  6. Just reading that you are smelling it makes me want to gnaw off my own arm.

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  7. So I guess ya'll don't wanna hear about the hamburger steak we had for dinner last nite....

    Does this mean you're not gonna write your book?

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